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mafanjai

mafanjai

The office romance is a scenario familiar to everybody. If you haven’t experienced one yourself it’s more than likely you have wanted to at some point. The majority of people asked seem to suggest that getting involved with somebody you work with is a bad idea. The reasons are numerous and diverse – from avoiding gossip, to distracting each other when you should be behaving more professionally, to setting yourself up for difficult situations should you have a fight or, worse still, break up. It’s just like being back at high school!

In some professions, relationships between colleagues are not only acceptable, but very much the norm. Certain industries have such unforgiving demands, with long unsociable hours or erratic schedules that it makes sense to date somebody who can understand your situation and will hopefully be more forgiving. For example, industries like the police force or the porn industry – it’s perhaps the only thing the two have in common, apart from occasionally the uniforms. Who would be able to accept the lifestyle and working conditions of an adult film actor other than one of their own? Who could be truly sympathetic to the stress levels and workload of a copper, or a surgeon for that matter, except for somebody coping under similar circumstances?

Some people make it work. My parents, for example, have worked together for as long as I can remember. As schoolteachers, they are both subjected to a gruelling vocational regime that demands they take 15 weeks holiday every year and are always home in time for dinner. All cynicism aside, being in a relationship in which only one of you has such a lacklustre workload can be a terrible strain and a brewing undercurrent of jealousy and resentment only too often threatens to boil over. I used to be a schoolteacher way back and would regularly be chastised, as often passively as aggressively, for idling away my free time by my other half who worked a regular 9-6 office gig. Of course I could have done more, but when I chose to travel during my lengthy vacations it only caused more problems. She was unable to join me so I would go on holiday either alone or with colleagues. For some reason, she wasn’t placated too much by the thought of me cavorting around Thailand with my buddy either.

I have tried dating a colleague in the past, not counting the Christmas job at The Gadget Shop when I worked my way through all nine female members of staff (with the exception of the manager who I’m pretty sure was a lesbian) only to still be single on New Year’s Eve. A couple of years ago I started seeing a girl who worked in the same office as me. We were in different departments, so our daily workload never overlapped, but when you’re in a company of about 12 people, you do tend to run into each other occasionally at the water fountain. In true clichéd fashion, proceedings were initiated the night of our office Christmas party and continued on apace. I can honestly say it was probably the least productive period of my tenure with the company. We were seated such that I could see her but she couldn’t see me and we would spend the day flirtatiously conversing on MSN. I could see her reactions to what I was typing and it only spurred me on to be even wittier, more charming and provocative so, obviously, I had no energy left to dedicate to my work. Once or twice we even snuck off in search of a quiet, abandoned floor to indulge in behaviour that, had we been caught, would have seen us both escorted immediately from the premises and unceremoniously fired (although our boss was Swedish, so who knows?). Fortunately, by the time that relationship had run its course, she had already (voluntarily) changed firms and to date I have never had to work with an ex-partner.

The simple truth of it all is that in a city such as Hong Kong, where the culture dictates you must work hours far exceeding whatever was quoted on your original contract, we spend considerably more of our time with our colleagues than with our significant others. It is only to be expected that relationships, lustful, loving or otherwise, blossom in the workplace. What you must remember, however, is that if you start dating a colleague, that wonderful conversation starter, “How was your day, honey?” quickly disappears. Before long, you’ll find yourselves discussing work at home and losing that oh-so-important sanctuary, where you are shielded from the demands of your boss. Crucially, by working with your partner, you lose those equally important hours apart that keep your relationship fresh and invigorated, ensuring that you have something new to talk about each day, letting absence make your heart grow fonder and, above all else, giving you those valuable hours of freedom to shamelessly flirt with your colleagues.

read mafanjai at www.mafanjai.bcmagazine.net, email the troublesome boy, mafanjai@bcmagazine.net,
follow him on twitter, mafanjai

previous issue

bc magazine issue 284 - 16 jul 2009
issue 284
16 jul 2009

bc magazine issue 283 - 02 jul 2009
issue 283
02 jul 2009


issue 282
18 june 2009

bc magazine issue 281 - 4 june 2009
issue 281
4 june 2009

bc magazine issue 280 - 15 May 2009
issue 280
14 may 2009

bc magazine issue 278 - 16 April 2009
issue 279
1 may 2009

bc magazine issue 278 - 16 april 2009
issue 278
16 april 2009

bc magazine issue 277 - 2 April 2009
issue 277
2 april 2009

bc magazine issue 276 - 19 March 2009
issue 276
19 march 2009





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